I hate to see Chip like this …
He’s sick. No, that’s not a moral judgement but a statement of fact. He’s ill. He spent the night downing can after can of Irish stout. He was amusing at first, telling stories and jokes with great enthusiasm but by the time he started on his second six-pack (of half litre cans) he was already incoherent. Despite losing control of most of his bodily functions he managed to maintain the motor skills necessary to open, hold, drink from and crush each can. What a laptop! I was considering entering him in drinking contests as I pottered off to bed last night. Such notions flew out the window when I saw the state of Chip this morning. He looks like a cow ate him, chewed the cud and then vomited him up before a farmer (presumably the farmer who owns this fictional cow) came along and hosed him down with manure. Stale manure.
Speaking of vomiting, Chip did a lot of that this morning. That’s not all; he spent plenty of time on the toilet. The runs, the trots, the scutters, whatever you want to call it: yes, Chip had diarrhoea! Now, ladies and gentlemen, who do you think ended up cleaning the toilet? It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to fish out a half dozen floating widgets that were partially submerged in the bowl. The little SOB made a point of swallowing them last night to show off, as if the screenstands* weren’t enough. Grrr …
* Well laptops don’t have hands you know!
Speaking of vomiting, Chip did a lot of that this morning. That’s not all; he spent plenty of time on the toilet. The runs, the trots, the scutters, whatever you want to call it: yes, Chip had diarrhoea! Now, ladies and gentlemen, who do you think ended up cleaning the toilet? It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to fish out a half dozen floating widgets that were partially submerged in the bowl. The little SOB made a point of swallowing them last night to show off, as if the screenstands* weren’t enough. Grrr …
* Well laptops don’t have hands you know!
Chip's Owner 12:57 pm
4 Comments:
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Serves Chip right. He deserves to be associated with all that. Oh who am I kidding? You gotta love the little guy ...
Serves Chip right. He deserves to be associated with all that. Oh who am I kidding? You gotta love the little guy ...
screenstands?
screenstands?
The laptop equivalent of handstands! (Balancing on their screen instead of their base.)
The laptop equivalent of handstands! (Balancing on their screen instead of their base.)